I held the envelope close to me, hoping the bright pink wouldn’t attract any attention. The contents, they were so full of unspoken words, too tender, too unstable. I had scrawled out the words days before, desperately seeking some timid form of redemption, not fully understanding what I was trying to fix.
We both sat at the same table, the same thoughts swirling around in our heads, but a wall of uncertainty and fear, built by cracks in our foundations, sat thickly between us. I had never really tried to truly understand why that wall had been allowed to be constructed – I avoided investigating too deeply for fear of finding my portion of responsibility.
“Do you want to go sit in the lounge?” she asked as we finished the last bites of a distracted lunch. “Yeah, I’d love to!” I replied, in a perky voice, unnatural for the circumstances, giving away my masks of cheeriness and oblivion that strained to hide my insecurities.
We sit down, avoiding eye contact for two seconds before conviction blooms in my chest. I look into her eyes and mine can’t help but reflect the same glassiness.
It took but a few words and we are cracked open, ripe and ready. My letter feels like such a flimsy peace offering, but I offer it anyways, finally understanding my grasps for redemption, hoping and praying that she does too.
“I’m sorry too.”
Tears fall freely now, healing with each drop; where words have failed us, they wash away months of miscommunication, misunderstanding and hurt.
And in moments, a page turns, and I taste, so incredibly tangibly, one of the sweetest moments of redemption I have ever experienced. A moment shared by two people who sought to protect the heart of another, to so sweetly and purely try and make right what had been wronged.
This is the kind of redemption that my Jesus fought for, this is the kind of redemption He won. It’s so victorious and sweet because it glorifies Him so fully.
Thank you Tiffany – you have shown me so much about the heart of Christ. You have taught me so much about faith, worship, perseverance, surrender, sincerity; but I have to say that redemption is the boldest-lettered word that you have left me with. You have shown me how Christ’s love washes over time and can actually redeem what has been lost. Thank you for that. It’s something that I can and will carry with me for the rest of my life. I love you Tiff.